Director: Rob Zombie
Cast: Tom Papa, Sheri Moon Zombie, Rosario Dawson, Paul Giamatti, Brian Posehn, Tom Kenny
Screenplay: Rob Zombie, Tom Papa
77 mins. Rated R for strong crude and sexual content throughout, nude graphics, language, violence and gore.

Dude, what the fuck did I just watch?

Masked-wrestler-turned-adult-film-actor El Superbeasto (Tom Papa, Bee Movie) must get back into the world-saving business to rescue the potty-mouthed stripper Velvet Von Black (Rosario Dawson, The LEGO Batman Movie) for more than just physical attraction reasons. The villainous Dr. Satan (Paul Giamatti, The Truman Show) has abducted Von Black with intent to wed her and take over the world via a convoluted devilish mark on her back. Together with super-agent Suzi X (Sheri Moon Zombie, House of 1000 Corpses), El Superbeasto needs to conjure up the ability to save all of Monsterland.

I’ve been aware of Rob Zombie’s only animated film since it came out in 2009, and I was interested, but I just never got around to it. What’s funny is that this is almost exactly what I would’ve predicted the final product to be. It’s missing Zombie’s Southern-fried dialogue, but it contains all his horniness and a lot of his humor. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, as I really enjoyed the various sendups of old horror movies. Did the main character run over Michael Myers due to Zombie’s past interactions with the Halloween franchise? Probably. Did I expect to see a Doctor Phibes cameo? Not at all. Even the silly cartoon nudity feels like Zombie was aiming for Heavy Metal and landed somewhere under the target. The character of Velvet Von Black was pretty terrible though, and Dr. Satan was shortchanged in the film.

El Superbeasto and the other characters can be inherently funny in another movie, just not so much this one. The characters are well-drawn (ludicrous, sure, but well-drawn), but the plotting of this movie is just all over the place, likely with intention, but that doesn’t change the impact which is…not great. There’s an energy to Rob Zombie’s animated realm that I liked, but most of the humor falls flat and the adventure itself is rather taxing and unremarkable. These characters deserve more story and better animation. The design of the animation often looks cheap, and I know this team can do better.

As a proof of concept, The Haunted World of El Superbeasto has merit, but as a finished film? No. This one simply does not come together the way it needs to. Many of the disparate elements have moments of clarity and brilliance, but it never quite meshes into an enjoyable experience. I’ll say that, with a better writer or a few more drafts, this one could be a winner, and I wouldn’t avoid a sequel, though I don’t see that happening. I didn’t hate myself for watching El Superbeasto, but I can’t really say I liked the experience either.

2.5/5
-Kyle A. Goethe

• For my review of Rob Zombie’s House of 1000 Corpses, click here.
• For my review of Rob Zombie’s Halloween, click here.
• For my review of Rob Zombie’s Halloween II, click here.
• For my review of Rob Zombie’s The Lords of Salem, click here.