Director: Ted Nicolaou
Cast: Paul Hipp, Martha Quinn, Aaron Lustig, Ian Patrick Williams, Charlie Spradling
Screenplay: Jack Canson
88 mins. Rated R.

It was the 90s, and Full Moon Features was in full swing, living large on the direct-to-video market and creating profitable franchises all over, so when Charles Band had an idea for an alien movie set in a radio station, it seemed like the studio could find a way to make it work, bringing in regular Full Moon collaborator Ted Nicolaou (TerrorVision) to direct. I recently decided to hunt it down and check it out for the first time as I’d read that it connects to Dollman vs. Demonic Toys and also because I’m a glutton for punishment. I can safely say that Bad Channels is a frustrating experience that never really takes advantage of its quirky concept.

When new radio station KDUL is running a promotion to bring in listeners, A UFO arrives, and two aliens invade the station, intending to capture female listeners with a mysterious device. As each victim is abducted, the device makes them believe they are starring in a music video. When DJ Dangerous Dan (Paul Hipp, Face/Off) and TV journalist Lisa (Martha Quinn, Dead Heat) discover the plot, they begin warning listeners to turn off their radios, but will they be too late?

I kept waiting for Bad Channels to be interesting. It had a number of elements that should’ve hit me perfectly. I love Nicolaou’s TerrorVision, and even he almost passed on this film due to “similarities.” Blue Oyster Cult providing the music for the film should’ve been a notch as well, but the music was largely forgettable. The entirety just felt rather repetitive. While that’s kind of a staple for Full Moon at times, none of the repetitive elements were all that interesting, and the faux Music Videos, largely the reason for Nicolaou’s interest in the film, were some of the most uninspired sequences.

As much as I don’t care for Bad Channels, I have to give credit to the creature design for the aliens, they reside perfectly in that late 80s/early 90s Chester Cheeto-level cheesiness, and they fit the vibe that I believe Nicolaou was going for. I also think Paul Hipp is doing a serviceable job as schlock-jock DJ Dangerous Dan, and while he isn’t written with much to do, Hipp is making the most of the middling and meager character development.

Bad Channels has a minor cult following, and with its tiny little connection to Dollman in a post-credit scene that would have made the MCU jealous, it holds a special place in the world of Full Moon. I didn’t much care for it, but I can see the silliness maybe working for others. Personally, I felt it didn’t lean enough into the zany to make it enjoyable, and most of the humor just fell flat. Here’s hoping you like it, but I was ready to find a remote and switch channels, and the cancel my cable package.

2/5
-Kyle A. Goethe

For my review of the anthology film The Dungeonmaster, click here.