[31 Days of Horror: The Final Chapter] Day 26 – Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! (1989)

Director: Monte Hellman

Cast: Richard Beymer, Bill Moseley, Samantha Scully, Eric DaRe, Laura Harring, Elizabeth Hoffman, Robert Culp, Richard C. Adams

Screenplay: Rex Weiner

90 mins. Rated R.

 

I’m probably going to get some shit for a Christmas movie right now. Whatever, I just wanted to see this one.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! continues the B-Movie horror franchise with Ricky Caldwell (Bill Moseley, The Devil’s Rejects, Alleluia! The Devil’s Carnival) in a coma. Overseeing his health is Dr. Newbury (Richard Beymer, West Side Story, TV’s Twin Peaks), who has been using blind psychic Laura (Samantha Scully, Best of the Best, Bloodsuckers) to access Ricky’s mind for…reasons. Laura is successful at awakening Ricky, though she doesn’t know, and she leaves to celebrate Christmas with her brother Chris (Eric DaRe, Starship Troopers, Ted Bundy) and their Granny (Elizabeth Hoffman, Dante’s Peak, TV’s Sisters). But Ricky is soon on her tail, and Dr. Newbury is on his. And…yeah, you know, it really does get very convoluted for a shit sequel.

Of the first three films in this franchise, Better Watch Out is the worst. It doesn’t really make sense. There’s this whole thing with Ricky where his brain is encased in a dome outside his head and he kind of reminds me of Chop Top mixed with Krang. The inclusion of a blind psychic is weird, especially because her powers kind of work but then don’t work, and his motive for chasing her down is altogether absent.

In fact, this third entry feels so wasted for the kind of talent involved. You have three David Lynch faves in Beymer, DaRe, and Laura Harring (Mulholland Dr., Inside), who plays Chris’s girlfriend Jerri. Robert Culp (Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, TV’s I Spy) appears as Lt. Connely, a cop on the case with Dr. Beymer. And I cannot forget the wonderfully talented Bill Moseley (who is famed far too little for his genre work) as Ricky. This film had the talent in front of the camera. It just didn’t have it behind nor on the written page.

Better Watch Out is fun for its kitsch but the movie is quite bad, but going into this franchise, you also know what you are getting into, so at least it isn’t surprisingly bad. If you sat with it this long, I guess the third installment is still worth your time, but this is one Christmas gift worth regifting.

 

1.5/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

For my review of Charles E. Sellier Jr’s Silent Night, Deadly Night, click here.

For my review of Lee Harry’s Silent Night, Deadly Night 2, click here.

For my review of Steven C. Miller’s Silent Night, click here.

 

For more Almighty Goatman,

[12 Days of Christmas] On the Second Day… Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1987)

silentnightdeadlynightpart21987a

Director: Lee Harry

Cast: Jean Miller, Eric Freeman, Elizabeth Kaitan, James L. Newman

Screenplay: Lee Harry, Joseph H. Earle

88 mins. Rated R.

 

Sometimes, you get sequels that enrich the original film while furthering the ideas put forth by its predecessor. Sometimes, you get a sequel that spends its first half with flashbacks of the first film. Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is the latter.

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After seeing his brother gunned down on Christmas, Ricky Caldwell (Eric Freeman, Children of the Corn) begins to display the same disturbed behavior that Billy had. As he is interviewed by Dr. Henry Bloom (James L. Newman, Flags of Our Fathers, Evan Almighty), Ricky describes the events that led him to a psychiatric hospital, all the while displaying his anger towards Mother Superior (Jean Miller) for her involvement in Ricky’s descent into madness.

This film makes absolutely no sense and nothing actually happens. There are plot holes galore, like the fact that Ricky is just able to walk out the front door of his asylum unnoticed.

Eric Freeman’s performance is nails on a chalkboard. He says his lines in the same monotone voice that would drive anyone he speaks with to a mental institution themselves. Beyond getting himself immortalized in a Youtube video forever, Freeman cannot act himself through the framing device of the film’s first half. He might have Voice Immodulation, so I guess I can’t blame him. No wait, yes I can.

Elizabeth Kaitan (Twins, Spy Hard) is another such actress, but she holds up slightly better in other movies, barely. We know why she is here, though. She shows up. She gets naked. She gets murdered. Standard Elizabeth Kaitan performance.

The trouble started with a poor original film for a sequel, followed by a low budget and a bad screenplay. They continue on with more blandness until your finished project is so bad that a drinking game was invented to get through it. DRINKING GAME: Drink every time Ricky adjusts his eyebrows. Drink responsibly, though, folks. He does this at least 100 times in the film. You have been warned.

 

silentnightdeadlynightpart21987c

“GARBAGE DAY!”

 

Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 is just plain garbage. There you go.

 

 

1/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

 

For my review of Silent Night, Deadly Night, click here.

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