800 Posts! Thank you!

Hey everyone,

for those of you that have been readers for awhile, you’ll know I like to celebrate the little moments, and I had one a few days ago when I published my review for Hobbs & Shaw. That review ended up being the 800th post for this site! It’s rather fitting because many of the Fast & Furious reviews I have written have been among the most popular reviews on the site!

I cannot thank you faithful and maybe first-time readers for tuning in, reading and contributing to the discussion. This has morphed from a hobby to a passion to a daily requirement for sanity, and it’s because of the kind words of so many of you that have helped with that.

All that being said, I’m going to leave a list of the most popular reviews and posts on the site since it started. Feel free to peruse and gander at your choosing.

 

  1. Turbo Charged Prelude (2003)
  2. Poltergeist (1982)
  3. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
  4. Frankenstein (1994)
  5. Leprechaun (1993)
  6. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
  7. The Thing (1982)
  8. Zootopia (2016)
  9. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
  10. The Fly (1986)

Here’s hoping Hobbs & Shaw ends up on this this. Three of the Fast & Furious films have ended up on the most-read list, including a short film prequel to the second film. It always strikes me at how many people have looked at the Leprechaun posts I have done. It seems year-round that that post gets views and I don’t understand it, to be perfectly honest.

So there you have it. Thanks again for reading, even if only once. I truly appreciate all of you readers and I only ask that you help like, comment, subscribe and share to keep independent content creators like myself going. All film is truly subjective, so if you’ve never interacted on the site, I urge you to do so. If you loved a movie I hated, let me know your opinion, and if you hated something I really love, I want to know why. That’s part of what makes this part of movie fandom so special. Thanks again!

 

-Kyle A. Goethe

600 Posts! A Very Special Thank You!

Hey everyone, there are more of you reading this now than there were four years ago when I started this whole thing, and yesterday, Lady Bird became my 600th post here. I can’t believe it. I’ve been writing here for some time and I can’t thank you readers enough for all that you have contributed through kind words, thoughtful discussion, and interesting insight. I wouldn’t be here without you!

Here’s a look back at the most popular reviews or pieces that we’ve been a part of here.

  1. Turbo Charged Prelude (2003)
  2. Poltergeist (1982)
  3. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
  4. Frankenstein (1994)
  5. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
  6. Leprechaun (1993)
  7. The Thing (1982)
  8. Santa Claws (2014)
  9. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
  10. Bad Boys (1995)

It’s still a little crazy that the most-looked at review on this site is for a short film prequel to 2 Fast 2 Furious, but to each his own.

And now, for one more thing. There is nothing I would love more than for your continued contribution to the discussion. All film is subjective, after all, and I started this site to start those discussions. If you agree with me on a certain film, speak out, let me know what you love about it. If you disagree, let me know your opinion.

If you have anything you’d like to see in the future, please feel free to contact us here at almightygoatmanreviews@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you.

 

Thanks,

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

 

For more Almighty Goatman,

500 Posts! Thank you!

 

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been 500 posts since I started this thing three years ago! Thank you so much to everyone that has been a constant reader or even those of you that are new! I wouldn’t be here without you!

Here’s a look back at the most popular reviews since this whole thing started.

 

  1. Turbo Charged Prelude (2003)
  2. Poltergeist (1982)
  3. Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977)
  4. Frankenstein (1994)
  5. 2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
  6. Leprechaun (1993)
  7. The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  8. The Fast and the Furious (2001)
  9. Horror Express (1972)
  10. Kubo and the Two Strings (2016)

 

You keep reading and I’ll keep writing…

-Kyle A. Goethe

[31 Days of Horror 3] Day 15 – Drive-Thru (2007)

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Director: Brendan Cowles, Shane Kuhn

Cast: Leighton Meester, Nicholas D’Agosto, Melora Hardin, Larry Joe Campbell, Lola Glaudini

Screenplay: Brendan Cowles, Shane Kuhn

83 mins. Rated R for strong horror violence and gore, drug use, language and some sexual content.

 

Well, after the last couple of days, I thought it might be time for a disappointment. Okay, not really, but it still happened.

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Drive-Thru is the story of A Nightmare on Elm Street…oh wait, I better start again. Drive-Thru is the story of Mackenzie Carpenter (Leighton Meester, TV’s Gossip Girl, The Judge), a young woman who is losing her friends, one by one, to a sadistic murderous clown named Horny, who takes his garb from the fast food restaurant Hella Burger. Horny is picking off teens with poor insults, bad puns, and also a big meat cleaver. As the bodies pile up, Mackenzie and her boyfriend Fisher (Nicholas D’Agosto, TV’s Gotham, Final Destination 5) learn that her mother Marcia (Melora Hardin, TV’s The Office, Self/less) and the other parents have a horrible secret that links Horny the Clown and Hella Burger directly to Mackenzie.

Wow, I really hate this movie. I hate it so much. The characters are cruel and annoying, the screenplay is overly cliché and riddled with poor dialogue, and the directing by Brendan Cowles and Shane Kuhn is downright dreadful. Now, I do have some defenders among my colleagues who claim that the film is self-aware enough to satire itself. “It’s so bad it’s good!” No, no it isn’t. It’s terrible.

The film is a disappointing remake of A Nightmare on Elm Street in a lot of ways (you might use the term rip-off even), and it can’t even muster to get an accessible and relatable story because Horny the Clown can’t stop making bad puns. Hell, the Leprechaun movies have better puns, and that’s really saying something.

In fact, the only scene in the film that I enjoyed at all is the Morgan Spurlock cameo. I won’t spoil the scene, but suffice it to say that the scene is mildly amusing in an otherwise underwhelming film.

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Drive-Thru is awful. I’m thankful I can review it now so that I never have to watch it again. Every part of it is terrible, and the one element that works can’t even save this film’s score.

 

1/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

[31 Days of Horror 3] Day 2 – Leprechaun 3 (1995)

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Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith

Cast: Warwick Davis, John Gatins, Lee Armstrong, Caroline Williams, Marcelo Tubert, John DeMita, Michael Callan, Tom Dugan

Screenplay: David DuBos

90 mins. Rated R for some strong horror violence and gore, and a scene of sexuality.

 

I wanted to ensure that I got the time this season to review the best in horror. I wanted to review the highest-selling direct-to-video release of 1995. I wanted to talk about Warwick Davis’ favorite Leprechaun film. Though not the best in horror, Leprechaun 3 does lay claim to the rest of these accolades. But I wouldn’t call it good. I imagine that Lee Armstrong would agree with me, as she retired with only 3 acting credits to her name after completing this film. Let’s take a look.

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Leprechaun 3 follow another greedy little Leprechaun (Warwick Davis, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Star Wars: The Force Awakens) who is awakened in Las Vegas. He comes across college student Scott McCoy (John Gatins, Real Steel, Need for Speed) and magician’s assistant Tammy Larsen (Lee Armstrong, Magic Island). Now, with the Leprechaun’s wish-granting gold spread out among the casino, all bets are off. Scott and Tammy must track down a rare medallion capable to defeating the Leprechaun before Scott succumbs to a terrible curse.

This is bad, real bad. And, to be fair, it’s one of the best of the bad. But still bad. Real bad. The Leprechaun’s powers are never really outlined, and it seems like he should be unstoppable, but yet he is constantly kept at bay. Then, there’s the question of his mystical coins, which again, have never been seen to grant wishes, though I suppose this is a different Leprechaun than the ones seen in previous installments. And what about the weird sequence of events that begins when the Leprechaun bleeds green oozy blood all over Scott, causing him to slowly turn into the most hillbilliest of Leprechaun creatures. Where the hell did this come from? I can settle for the weird amulet that turns him back to stone, but the rest of this just comes out of nowhere and goes nowhere.

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It’s bad. Real bad. But its fun. Just not real fun. Leprechaun 3 is the kind of film you would expect from this series. Not really getting great, but at least it isn’t worse. For now.

 

2/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

 

For my review of Mark Jones’ Leprechaun, click here.

For my review of Rodman Flender’s Leprechaun 2, click here.

[Happy 30th Birthday!] April Fool’s Day (1986)

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Director: Fred Walton

Cast: Deborah Foreman, Griffin O’Neal, Clayton Rohner, Jay Baker, Deborah Goodrich, Ken Olandt, Leah King Pinsent, Amy Steel, Thomas F. Wilson

Screenplay: Danilo Bach

89 mins. Rated R.

 

Of all the interesting holiday-themed horror films to spring up from the success of films like Halloween, April Fool’s Day is probably the most interesting idea. It’s a film idea that, even on the surface, shouldn’t work very well, but this film created its cult following from its smart plotting and playful attitude. It’s only a question of whether or not it holds up after three decades.

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Eight friends of the heiress Muffy St. John (Deborah Foreman, Valley Girl, Lobster Men from Mars) gather for a weekend at her secluded island cabin to celebrate the last year of college. When secrets start to be uncovered from each of their pasts, a cold-blooded killer begins to do away with each of them in turn, but as April Fool’s Day is upon them, the gang can’t tell who’s pranking who, and who’s killing who.

April Fool’s Day may not be the most illustrious of horror films, but it is damn fun all the same. The campiness of pranks (though many involve murder strangely) combined with the horror aspects create a silly but altogether enjoyable film.

It helps to have genre favorites like Amy Steel (TV’s All My Children, Friday the 13th Part 2), Thomas F. Wilson (Back to the Future, The Spongebob Movie: Sponge Out of Water) and Ken Olandt (Leprechaun, Power Play) involved as well.

Again, I should point out, this movie wasn’t going to win any awards, but as far as enjoyable film experiences, I just can’t really fault this one. Sure, the characters are mostly stiff and flat, but the dialogue keeps the tension and tone regular. Sure, director Fred Walton (When a Stranger Calls, The Stepford Husbands) isn’t a good director, but he nails it on this particular project.

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April Fool’s Day is a great film to show your friends. It is a great movie-night movie. It is a fun experience best shared with others. Having your group take guesses at just what’s going on is the most fun, and I think that’s what it’s all been about, right?

 

3.5/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

[St. Patrick’s Day] Leprechaun 2 (1994)

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Director: Rodman Flender

Cast: Warwick Davis, Charlie Heath, Shevonne Durkin, Adam Biesk, Arturo Gil, Linda Hopkins, James Lancaster, Sandy Baron

Screenplay: Turi Meyer, Al Septien

85 mins. Rated R for violence, and for nudity.

 

You’re damn right I picked Leprechaun 2 to watch today, and I hope I don’t regret it terribly. Spoiler Alert: I will.

LEPRECHAUN 2, Warwick Davis, Shevonne Durkin, 1994, (c)Trimark Pictures

Leprechaun 2 follows the same Leprechaun (Warwick Davis, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Star Wars: Episode VII – The Force Awakens) as the first film (at least I think so, the last time he kicked the bucket in a fairly gruesome way and this time, he’s born out of a tree) as he searches for true love. A thousand years ago, he had fallen for a beautiful young woman, and according to some bullshit about turning 1000, he can claim her as his bride, provided that she sneeze three times and nobody say “God Bless You” (seriously, I can’t even make this up). The problem is that the young woman is the daughter of his slave, William O’Day (James Lancaster, The Prestige, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End), who mucks it up to save her. One thousand years later, in present day 1994, the Leprechaun is back to attempt to claim her back when he discovers Bridget (Shevonne Durkin, Ghost in the Machine, Spermicide), a young woman who resembles the girl he fell for so long ago. Bridget’s boyfriend, Cody (Charlie Heath, The Beverly Hillbillies, Friends Til the End), and his boss/friend/guy Morty (Sandy Baron, Sid & Nancy, Vamp) must unite to trick the evil little Leprechaun and destroy him before he gets her to sneeze. Wow, I had trouble explaining all that.

Leprechaun 2 is pure shit. As I said before, I’m still not sure if this is supposed to be the same Leprechaun as before or if we are to think that they all look alike (that might put me in hot water). Warwick Davis is clearly the only one having fun here, playing off the uninterested cast as best he can. Director Rodman Flender (Idle Hands, Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop) cannot handle the poorly written screenplay from Turi Meyer and Al Septien (Chairman of the Board, Wrong Turn 2: Dead End).

Oh my God, I couldn’t defend this film if I tried. It’s a wonder even this one made it to theaters.

So, let’s just cover what is good. Warwick Davis can’t be faulted. Sandy Baron is probably the most skilled performer here and, again, does his best. There is a great scene involving  a lawnmower. The Leprechaun drives what amounts to a miniature Formula 1 death machine at one point. The credits were nice at the end.

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If you have already imbibed the green beer on this St. Patrick’s Day, then maybe you can stomach Leprechaun 2. If not, then I’m glad I gave you fair warning.

 

1.5/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

For my review of Mark Jones’ Leprechaun, click here.

200 Posts! Many thanks!

Hey everyone!

Earlier this week, I crossed the 200 post mark, and I just wanted to take a minute to thank all my faithful readers for tuning in for all the craziness as I get used to this again. Below, you will see links to my Top 10 Posts of the last 200 posts. Thanks again! Keep reading and I’ll keep writing!

  1. No Xenomorphs in Prometheus 2? What has all this been for?
  2. Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
  3. Horrible Bosses (2011)
  4. Leprechaun (1993)
  5. 2012 (2009)
  6. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009)
  7. Monkey Shines (1988)
  8. The Lego Movie (2014)
  9. How to Train Your Dragon 2 (2014)
  10. Captain America: The Winter Soldier (2014)

 

Lastly, I want to hear some feedback from my readers. Let me know what you want to see. I’m always looking for new ways to spark discussion!

31 Days of Horror: Day 14 – Leprechaun (1993)

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Director: Mark Jones

Cast: Warwick Davis, Jennifer Aniston, Ken Olandt, Mark Holton, Robert Gorman

Screenplay: Mark Jones

92 mins. Rated R for horror violence and language.

 

It’s tough to place a film like Leprechaun. In one way, it’s far too childish to be scary. On another, there’s too much gore and horror for it to be a kid’s movie. So what exactly is it?

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Well, Leprechaun is a bit of an enigma. It’s the story of an evil little leprechaun (Warwick Davis, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2, Jack the Giant Slayer) who has his gold taken away from him and is willing to stop at nothing until he gets every piece of it back. The leprechaun is eventually trapped in a crate for several years until Tory Reding (Jennifer Aniston, TV’s Friends, We’re the Millers) and her father move in. Once he is free, he goes on a murderous rampage to get his gold back.

This film is stupid. Really stupid. It suffers from genre confusion. The original idea was for a scary kid’s movie which eventually evolved, thanks to studio heads, into a comedic yet more adult horror film, though it still doesn’t fit into either category. I find it tough to blame writer/director Mark Jones (Scorned, Rumpelstiltskin) as I’m sure he had little measure of success once his film was tampered with, but even so, the acting is horrid. Jennifer Aniston has never been an actress of particular depth, and I’ve never been truly impressed by her worth, and her first starring role is no exception. She is given a band of merry men who turn in wretched work and the entire film falls to Warwick Davis’ portrayal of the evil leprechaun. Now, Davis does fine work with this ultimately not scary role, but he just isn’t scary at all.

That’s what boggle me about this movie and, in fact, the entire series. Not one of them is scary. So why do we classify them as horror. Likely due to the gore factor, and the films do have that.

But, if there is a silver lining to this movie, and I think there is, it is that it is kind of fun to watch. This is usually my go-to for St. Paddy’s Day movies alongside The Boondock Saints and The Departed. It has a relatively odd premise played out to its lengths.

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And there is that line of bad movies. Some of the Leprechaun films (I’m looking at you Leprechaun 4: In Space) are so horrid that it is tough to sit through them. On the other hand, some are just goofy enough to be fun. On that line, Leprechaun does end up on the so-bad-it’s-good side more so than the take-me-out-to-the-pasture-and-shoot-me side. So for that, I give the film its rating.

 

2/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

 

For more 31 Days of Horror, click here.

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