[31 Days of Horror Part VII: The New Blood] Day 29 – Creepshow (1982)

Director: George A. Romero
Cast: Hal Holbrook, Adrienne Barbeau, Fritz Weaver, Leslie Nielsen, Carrie Nye, E.G. Marshall, Viveca Lindfors
Screenplay: Stephen King
120 mins. Rated R.

We talk a lot about anthologies, especially during the month of October because they predominantly lend themselves to the horror genre. The issue, and I’ve said it time and time again, is that anthologies are incredibly difficult to really pull off because you aren’t just making one solid horror movie. In some cases, its as many as six or more (don’t even get me started on the ABCs of Death) individual horror tales, and they each have to be great, or hopefully good at the very least. While one fowl segment doesn’t tank an entire anthology, it definitely sours it a bit. On the flipside, one great segment is not enough to save a poor anthology (we’re looking at you, VHS: Viral). It’s a very tough formula to work out, and even then, the order of the segments can have an effect on the overall strength of the film. The ordering of anthology segments requires a steady hand, much like Alfred Molina’s character in Boogie Nights waxing on the importance of the order of his musical playlists. With all that, anthologies are just plain tricky, so perhaps it was fate that brought together director George A. Romero (Land of the Dead, The Amusement Park) and novelist Stephen King (Maximum Overdrive, Cell) to put their love of EC horror comics on full display with the stylistic Creepshow. A successful film with two sequels and now a television adaptation on Shudder, let’s talk about the unique and dazzling Creepshow and see if it was able to avoid the pitfalls of so many anthologies.

Creepshow is an anthology homage to EC comics like Tales from the Crypt and Vault of Horror. Our framing wraparound consists of a boy caught reading one of these mind-numbing books full of gore and violence and a darkly comic view of it all. His father throws the comic book out, and then we get a chance to view the many stories within. In “Father’s Day,” a family’s yearly get-together is soured with the memories of their unbeloved patriarch come back to haunt them. In “The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill,” King himself appears as the titular character, a doltish man who comes across a space meteor and fills his head with ideas of fame and fortune, but the meteor may prove to be more menacing than he imagined. In “Something to Tide You Over,” Leslie Neilsen (Airplane!, The Naked Gun) plays a ruthlessly conniving man out for vengeance against his wife and her lover. In “The Crate,” a college professor discovers a storage crate from an arctic expedition with a rather nasty surprise hidden inside. Finally, “They’re Creeping Up on You” is about a mysophobic businessman obsessed with ridding his home of cockroaches and other nasty bugs.

Including its wraparound framing device, Creepshow is an absolute blast from start to finish. This is a rare anthology where all five of the segments work well on their own and together, each one seemingly covering a different area of pulpy gruesome horror fun. What’s so great about this movie is that the wraparound makes the segments actually fit within the film. We see that each of these stories is a comic book tale of horror, and since they have a singular director with a singular vision, each piece fits nicely enough within the framework that this could conceivably be a living comic book, and that bleeds through the tone and style of each of the stories (in fact, as a promotion for this film, there does exist a single book of Creepshow in comic book, or graphic novel, form). Romero used filters and comic book-y borders to create the feeling that we’re peering into a single panel of a page. The words jump out, and there’s almost a freeze-frame moment just on the cusp of the action, reminding us that we’re merely the audience, and nothing can hurt us here.

The benefit of having one director and one writer when the idea is to create a living comic book is that the tone is pretty much the same throughout. That’s not to say that an anthology with a more mixed tone cannot work, but I do believe it helps to have a cohesive tone running through the narratives. That allows for a bit more collaboration with King on the stories (hell, King was the lead of one of them!), and that means hitting all the tonal beats without issue. It’s a more tonally complex movie than most would give it because you would need to understand when you are aiming for horror and when you are aiming for comedy. If you don’t think that the balance between the two is important, then I would direct you to John Carpenter’s Memoirs of an Invisible Man or Wes Craven’s Vampire in Brooklyn.

Let’s break down a few of these stories, shall we? First off, we get “Father’s Day.” This one feels like it came directly out of Tales from the Crypt, and it very easily could have fit into the popular HBO series as a standalone episode. We get some strong performances from Viveca Lindfors (The Exorcist III, Stargate) as Aunt Bedelia, a woman with a very curious familial secret, as well as Ed Harris (with Hair-is!) as the new member of the family, Hank. He’s our straight man in this segment, the one asking the questions we all want answers to. This story is pretty straightforward, but its simplicity offers an appetizer to whet our horror appetite.

“The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill” is a pretty enjoyable segment that leans more into the comedy than the horror with a nice tinge at the end, which is fine since we all know Stephen King is not a good actor. That’s not his fault, he just hasn’t been trained nor has he practiced. He actually holds his own enough here to make Jordy Verrill likable and dumb enough to keep to the sillier tone of this one. It’s weird and goofy and a whole lot of fun, probably the funniest of the segments, and it belongs right here.

Definitely vying for the best segment, “Something to Tide You Over” is a terrific little piece that combines a classic horror revenge story with a gross and mucky ending that seemingly aims for the comic codes of the 1950s or The Twilight Zone with its brilliant inversions. Nielsen is wonderfully wicked here as the jealous victim of marital cheating on the part of his wife (Gaylen Ross of Dawn of the Dead fame) and her lover (Ted Danson). The way he pulls all the strings here with his revenge plot is great, and watching his plan either come together or fall apart left me guessing.

The granddaddy of them all (and my personal favorite) is most likely “The Crate,” which utilizes great practical effects from Tom Savini (his first animatronic work is on display here). We get to seeing acting heavyweight Hal Holbrook (Into the Wild, Planes: Fire and Rescue) as the shy and underwhelming Henry Northrup, a man who is embarrassed by his loud and volatile wife Wilma (Adrienne Barbeau, Escape from New York, Exorcism at 60,000 Feet). The practical effects are terrific here, and the performances cater to those more highbrow stories from EC (I never understood the amount of rich socialites featured in their stories, but I guess a great number of them don’t fare too well, and maybe that’s the middle- or lower-class of us getting our rocks off enjoying it all). The horror is bloody and the humor is a bit more restrained here, and its placement as the fourth story is great because it’s a bit of a downer at times, but this is a clear front-runner of the pack.

The final segment, “They’re Creeping Up on You,” is most likely the weakest of the stories, but that’s because it’s just so small compared to the others. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it, but if we’re ranking, it would be fifth best, but I enjoy it still. In fact, it’s kind of like dessert. We pretty much know where the story is going. Our only character, Upson Pratt (E.G. Marshall, 12 Angry Men, Christmas Vacation) is very unlikable and we want to see bad things happen to him. Then, there’s the element of horror that is so overdone that even many who do not fear bugs will likely find something unnerving about it. It’s a simple story, but it still works, and it leaves us in a solid place to end the film. Worked for me.

Creepshow is wholly enjoyable from beginning to end, and it’s a perfect movie for me. The Creep is a chilling character (that I wish we got more of), and the stories he gives us are exciting, funny, strange, and just plain entertaining. It’s full of actors who know what movie they are in, and they play to their strengths. George A. Romero and Stephen King crafted a perfect tone for this ghoulish jaunt through a hallowed ground of the horror world, and this movie just works every time I watch it.

5/5
-Kyle A. Goethe

For my review of George A. Romero’s Night of the Living Dead, click here.
For my review of George A. Romero’s Dawn of the Dead, click here.
For my review of George A. Romero’s Day of the Dead, click here.
For my review of George A. Romero’s Monkey Shines, click here.
For my review of George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead, click here.
For my review of George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead, click here.

October 29, 2020 1

[31 Days of Horror Part VI: Jason Lives] Day 2 – Return of the Killer Tomatoes! (1988)

Director: John DeBello

Cast: Anthony Starke, George Clooney, Karen Mistal, Steve Lundquist, John Astin, Michael Villani

Screenplay: Stephen F. Andrich, John DeBello, Costa Dillon, J. Stephen Peace

98 mins. Rated PG.

The Killer Tomatoes series is almost a fantasy. Most people have at least heard of the films, but there are a select few that have actively sought them out to see that they are, in fact, real. Not only that, there was even a Saturday morning cartoon series that this writer has been searching out…glutton for punishment and all that, but these films are cultural landmarks in a lot of ways. Okay, not a lot of ways. A few ways. For example, the second film contains something major that people don’t really talk about it. I’m referring to the greatest post-credits scene in history. Oh yeah, and George Clooney (Michael Clayton, Hail, Caesar!) too.

It’s been ten years since the Great Tomato War, and tomatoes have been outlawed across the land, making pizza and pasta very strangely altered. Chad Finletter (Anthony Starke, License to Kill, TV’s Hand of God) is a delivery boy working out of his uncle’s tomato-less pizzeria, and he’s infatuated with the beautiful woman who lives with the odd and potentially villainous Professor Gangreen (John Astin, The Frighteners, What the Bleep!?: Down the Rabbit Hole), and through this mutual attraction Chad comes upon a horrifying-ish truth: Professor Gangreen, who may have been responsible for the Great Tomato War ten years ago, has a new device capable of using music to transform regular tomatoes into human henchmen and henchwomen, and it’s up to Chad and his roommate Matt (Clooney) to stop him before it’s too late!

This sequel shares some commonalities with its predecessor. Mainly, they are both shoestring-budget cheap. Secondly, they are both terribly stupid. Third, they know that, and they use it to their advantage. All that being said, I actually prefer the second film, which I felt nailed the comedy and satire much better, but Return of the Killer Tomatoes tries really hard to do something unique with the narrative, something I can commend them on, but the whole story of turning tomatoes into humans for world domination just didn’t do it for me. I much preferred the simplicity of sentient killer tomatoes from the first film.

There’s a lot of comedy to this sequel, and it mostly works, although a lot of it had been borrowed from better spoofs like Airplane! and used to better effect in films like the Wayne’s World movies, but that’s not to completely punish it. I think Starke and Clooney play off each other quite well. I’ll always know Starke from his episode of the hit series Seinfeld, in which he played the third-person speaking Jimmy, and his deadpan serious attempt to play up Chad is pretty funny. People tend to forget that Clooney has some comedic chops because he doesn’t use them often, but he’s pretty funny as Matt.

The strongest and strangest performance of the film has to go to Astin, who perfectly captures the cheese required to play a character named Professor Gangreen. He isn’t given much to do, but when he’s onscreen, he’s a lot of fun. His exchanges with his assistant Igor (Steve Lundquist, Earth Girls Are Easy, The Sleeping Car) are hilariously goofy.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes is not as strongly and consistently stupid-funny as I would have liked, and some of you may not appreciate the film’s humor at all, but I found something likably dumb about the 80s-sequel. As I said, this film fits its time frame much like the first film captured the 70s, and there’s a lot of silliness to take in, but not all of it works. It’s dumb. It’s goofy. But it’s still somehow enjoyable enough.

2.5/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

For more 31 Days of Horror, click here.

For my review of John DeBello’s Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, click here.

October 2, 2019 0

[31 Days of Horror Part V: A New Beginning] Day 20 [Happy 40th Birthday!] Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

Director: John DeBello

Cast: David Miller, George Wilson, Sharon Taylor, Costa Dillon

Screenplay: John DeBello, Costa Dillon, Stephen Peace

83 mins. Rated PG.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! Yeah, I can’t get the theme song out of my head.

Randomly, and seemingly without consequence, tomatoes have come to life and are attacking humans everywhere. They make screechy attack sounds as they group up to take humans down once and for all. The President has put together a team to combat the tomato menace led by Mason Dixon (David Miller, That Was Then…This is Now, Speak of the Devil). As the tomatoes and the humans mount for an all-out war, it’s up to Mason and his team to stop them by any means necessary.

I tried to nail down the best description of this film, but it is a rather loose plot. The paper-thin story is an excuse to zany and wacky jokes. From the pop song “Puberty Love” that plays throughout to a discussion of between generals about getting a medal in a three-legged sack race, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is a more ridiculous precursor to better satires to come like Airplane! and The Naked Gun. Some of the jokes land, some do not, and director John DeBello (Black Dawn, Happy Hour) appears to be just throwing goofs at the wall to see what sticks. I think he finds more success than expected simply by the sheer amount of jokes used.

Outside of the downright wacky, nothing in this film really works. The acting is absolutely atrocious, the writing is bland, and the lack of anything real for story just bored me to death. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes seems on the surface to be ripe for weird, comedic, and horrific action set pieces. And then, there aren’t any good action scenes. Nothing really works. That’s the cardinal difference between this and better satires. Films like Airplane! and Young Frankenstein have good stories and likable characters. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is missing key storytelling elements.

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is, thankfully, short enough to get one good viewing out of. Get some friends and beers and you might just get a laugh or two. Lower your expectations…significantly, and you may just find some fun in there.

2/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

October 20, 2018 1

[Happy 35th Birthday!] Airplane! (1980)

Director: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker

Cast: Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Leslie Nielsen

Screenplay: Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, Jerry Zucker

88 mins. Rated PG.

As a child, I was a bit of a goofball, like many kids are. My influences were of a particular variety like Jim Carrey, Harold Ramis and, most notably, Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!, Stan Helsing). Early in my childhood, I connected to Nielsen’s brand of comedy. His form of wordplay and parody combined with his perfect timing allowed for some of the greatest moments in comedy. 35 years ago, the first film featuring Leslie Nielsen as a comedic performer, Airplane!, was released, and its time we look back on it.

When Ted Striker (Robert Hays, Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey, Sharknado 2: The Second One) follows his stewardess ex-girlfriend Elaine (Julie Hagerty, She’s the Man, Confessions of a Shopaholic) aboard her next flight, he isn’t aware that a freak food poisoning incident would leave him the only man capable of flying the aircraft, and his drinking problem coupled with his regrets from the war have taken a toll on him. Now, it’s up to Striker, Elaine, and Dr. Rumack (Nielsen) to save the passengers and land the plane.

Airplane!, from the writer-director group of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker, and Jerry Zucker, is the first true win for the three filmmakers. They took the script for the film Zero Hour, purchased up the rights, and turned it into one of the most quotable films of all time. Their decision to cast serious actors reading satirical dialogue is what makes it as hilarious as it is.

The directors set the tone perfectly from the first moment with their spoof of Jaws. From then on, they send up films like Saturday Night Fever with their gags about the beginnings and endings of Disco.

The film is a slow burn the first viewing. The directors have such a unique style that if you don’t know what you are getting into, it might take a bit to get it. Their comedy requires your full attention and that’s why it doesn’t happen anymore in recent films.

Airplane! Is a comedy masterpiece, still as good today as it was 35 years ago when it first graced the screen. It ushered in a new subgenre of comedy that lasted almost three decades. Nielsen was ushered with it, and his career met new avenues.

5/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

July 2, 2015 4

[Happy 30th Birthday!] Cat’s Eye (1985)

Director: Lewis Teague

Cast: Drew Barrymore, James Woods, Alan King, Kenneth McMillan, Robert Hays, Candy Clark

Screenplay: Stephen King

94 mins. Rated PG-13.

A cat named General is on a mission in this adaptation of two Stephen King stories with an all new tale from the master of horror. The three stories are linked by General making his way to a little girl named Amanda (Drew Barrymore, Donnie Darko, Blended). In the first story, “Quitters, Inc.”, Dick Morrison (James Woods, Once Upon a Time in America, White House Down) has a problem: smoking. He needs to quit and he needs to do it now. Quitters, Inc. is the place to go, though the man in charge, Dr. Vinny Donatti (Alan King, Casino, Rush Hour 2), has some very unique methods in ensuring that his clientele quit for good. In “The Ledge”, Johnny Norris (Robert Hays, Airplane!, Sharknado 2: The Second One) has been kidnapped by Cressner (Kenneth McMillan, Amadeus, Dune), a wealthy gambler who has discovered Norris sleeping with his wife. Cressner challenges Norris to a bet: walk around the ledge outside Cressner’s penthouse or die trying. Finally, in “General”, our cat has made it to the home of Amanda, who is being hunter by a troll who wants to kill her in her sleep, and only General can stop it. Lewis Teague (The Jewel of the Nile, Navy Seals) directs and Stephen King (A Good Marriage, Desperation) himself writes in this heightened reality collection of stories which celebrates thirty years today, but is it good?

I say yes. Cat’s Eye is quirky and goofy and classic King. Few films choose to display King’s twisted sense of humor the right way like this one. I saw a lot of dreamlike sequences like one where Dick has been without cigarettes long enough to be seeing them in the mouths of everyone he encounters at a party. James Rebhorn plays Morrison’s work partner as he lights up a dozen cigarettes all at once while dancing packs of smokes encircle the struggling addict. It is chilling and a little silly and amazing. Any fan of King’s work should be sold on this film.

It doesn’t help to have some great performances from genre actors like James Woods and Robert Hays. Teague knows his target audience here as well, and he crafted what could be construed as an early attempt at a shared universe with references to Cujo and Christine. More than anything, it’s a lot of fun.

Cat’s Eye is a mostly enjoyable experience with callbacks to some of King’s more iconic work. With a tonally perfect screenplay from the master of horror himself, some of King’s stranger work makes it to the screen in one piece, mostly. Now it isn’t perhaps as scary as it could be, but it still works. I would like to see this film immortalized as part of a possible Stephen King shared universe (and yes, there is currently one being worked out with the impending Dark Tower adaptations). Enjoy this film for what it is: a piece of 80s candy.

4/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

April 12, 2015 0

[Oscar Madness] Ted (2012)

Director: Seth MacFarlane

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Seth MacFarlane, Joel McHale, Giovanni Ribisi

Screenplay: Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin, Wellesley Wild

106 mins. Rated R for crude and sexual content, pervasive language, and some drug use.

Academy Award Nominee: Best Achievement in Music Written for Motion Pictures, Original Song (“Everybody Needs a Best Friend” by Walter Murphy, Seth MacFarlane)

I never thought Seth MacFarlane (A Million Ways to Die in the West) would host the Oscars. I also never thought he would nominated for his own film that very year, but he was. And he was.

Ted is the story of John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg, Boogie Nights, The Gambler) and a wish he wished when he was but a child. After receiving a teddy bear for Christmas, John dreamed that Ted would come alive and be his friend forever. That wish came true, and now, years later, John has become an adult, has a girlfriend, Lori (Mila Kunis, TV’s Family Guy, Black Swan), and wants to shed all the piece of his childhood. But is he ready to lose Ted (voiced by Director MacFarlane)? Now, John has to decide what is truly important as a loser boss named Rex (Joel McHale, TV’s Community, A Merry Friggin’ Christmas) threatens to take Lori away and a psycho fanboy named Donny (Giovanni Ribisi, Avatar, Selma) threatens to steal Ted.

Seth MacFarlane is great at taking cutesy little stories with lessons about love and growth and punctures them with toilet humor and crude content. I thought the plot was nicely laid out while flipping situations like a best friend moving out and morphing it into the story of a teddy bear.

The performances are more a live-action version of a Family Guy episode than anything of actual merit, but that doesn’t take away from the film’s enjoyment.

Ted’s motion capture performance by Seth MacFarlane looks really good and blends into the film well.

I loved the send-ups to films like Airplane! and Flash Gordon. I loved the Cheers DVD segments, and the wonderful flash Family Guy way about this film. It harkens back to the more simplistic of the cartoon’s episodes back before the first cancellation.

Ted is a lot of fun if you are willing to accept the extreme crudeness of the piece. It is a hilarious time at the movies, especially for those who can “get” some of the more selective jokes.

4/5

-Kyle A. Goethe

February 2, 2015 3