[Early Review] Five Feet Apart (2019)

Director: Justin Baldoni

Cast: Haley Lu Richardson, Cole Sprouse, Moises Arias, Kimberly Hebert Gregory, Parminder Nagra, Claire Forlani

Screenplay: Mikki Daughtry, Tobias Iaconis

116 mins. Rated PG-13 for thematic elements, language and suggestive material.


Following in the footsteps of films like A Walk to Remember and The Fault in Our Stars, Five Feet Apart is a teen romance film dealing with a whole lot more than romance. It’s basis in Cystic Fibrosis gives it a shot of something I haven’t seen in a romance film, and unfortunately, that was the only thing unique about it.

Stella (Haley Lu Richardson, The Edge of Seventeen, Operation Finale) has CF, but she has a system. She knows what meds to take and when, when she needs to wear her afflovest, and exactly what she must do to remain on the list for new lungs. So when she meets Will (Cole Sprouse, The Suite Life Movie, TV’s Riverdale), another CF patient with no solid drug regimen, no plans to get better, and no hope, it drives her crazy. She insists that he let her help organize his drug cart in an effort to help him stay healthy, and in doing so, the two begin a bond that becomes something more powerful, but they cannot move forward together without breaking an important guideline for CF patients: that they cannot be closer than six feet to avoid cross-contaminating each other.

I found the Cystic Fibrosis layer of Stella to be incredibly interesting and powerful. I’ll be someone who admits to not know much about the ailment, so I was interested and captivated by her strength in fighting for each day. It’s nice that the filmmakers worked alongside the Claire’s Place Foundation to get all the details right about CF. I also found it interesting how she evolved as a character by her relationship with Will. Until the end. There’s some events and scenes surrounding her arc in the latter half of the film that I didn’t believe. There’s a lot about the third act that completely falls apart, in fact.

I think that Richardson and Sprouse had nice enough chemistry but nothing that really stuck. Their romantic relationship was one of the more boring elements of the film. It hits all the familiar beats of any romantic entanglements. At the end of the film, some bad decisions are made in the name of love, and I didn’t find myself seeing the point in the bad decisions. Where the relationship ends up at the end of the film is also something that seemed like exactly where I expected it to go. All in all, I was completely uninterested in the central crux of the story.

Five Feet Apart is rather forgettable as a love story but the CF stuff is interesting and insightful. Everything outside the romance is engaging at least. It’s just a problem that the film is a love story. Save your money on this one; there are better films at your cinema.



-Kyle A. Goethe

Nurse (2013)


Director: Doug Aarniokoski

Cast: Paz de la Huerta, Katrina Bowden, Corbin Bleu

Screenplay: Doug Aarniokoski, David Loughery

84 mins. Rated R for bloody violence, strong sexual content, language and some graphic nudity.


Someone get me a Doctor! I’m suffering from a horrible disease called Terrible Film! It can remove up to 84 minutes from your life! Seriously, folks, this is one naughty nurse and one awful movie!


Nurse tells the story of Abby Russell (Paz de la Huerta, Enter the Void, A Walk to Remember), a nurse by day, and scheming, murdering slut by night. I’m not really sure if this film has much of a plot other than that. She does have a strange sexual(?) obsession with another fellow nurse, played by the lovely Katrina Bowden (Tucker & Dale vs. Evil, Scary Movie 5), which causes a rift between her and the token boyfriend, played forgettably by Corbin Bleu.

I won’t waste much time on this review, as you can probably tell my thoughts already.


The acting is horrible. Abby Russell speaks to the audience like she is having a tantrum. She just reads on and on and on without anything more than a Blegh! feeling. Literally, her performance feels like she has other better things to do than act, and hopefully she does, because Paz de la Huerta is kind of sucking at her day job. Bowden doesn’t do much better, and by the end of the film, most of the performances seem like cameos by comparison to the rotten screen time devoted to Abby. It seems like a veritable Whos-Who of actors being flushed down the toilet bowl of Hollywood obscurity. I actually kind of forgot that Bleu was even in the film until I sat down to write this. Imagine 84 minutes of this.

Arniokoski does a horrible job of commanding the film. I had to keep checking my watch to see if it was even close to finished. Mostly, it wasn’t. This film drags on, which is more disappointing considering the runtime.


All in all, Nurse is a forgettable film with an ignoble aspiration. Aaniokoski is trying to make a film so bad it’s good. There have been many that have tried, but you don’t make these kind of movies on purpose. They have to be lucky, or perhaps unlucky, coincidences. Skip this film and see something worthy. Anything please. If you have to sit through it, do yourself a favor. Order a hit of morphine.



-Kyle A. Goethe

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